(via A Softer World: 788)
(via A Softer World: 778)
a softer world: 771
In hindsight, this accurately sums up my ten months of dating CS. Oops.
Don’t settle for someone who doesn’t give you things to say. Forever is a long time to make small talk.
I Wrote This For You: The Silence Goes For Miles
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Talked to Dad last night about, well, a bit of everything, and he shared so much more than I expected. When I told him that, he said “All anyone has to do is ask, but nobody does.” I always thought he didn’t think about or share his feelings, but I realize now that he’s given a lot of thought to his motivations, his emotions (more on that later), and his purpose in life than I ever expected.
This conversation stemmed from me thinking about how I experience my emotions so differently from others, and how what I feel for MM is real but it’s not how I would expect to feel if I base my expectation on the portrayal of love all around me. Talking with Cullen a few months ago confirmed that he too has “duller” emotions than others, but it seemed like love was still very exciting and visceral for him. So I needed to talk to Dad, the only person who I thought might feel the same as me. And he does. It was such a relief to talk to him and find that he’s like me in that his threshold for excitement, or any emotion really, is higher than many many other peoples’. He called it being “stoic” which I think is a good word for it, and blamed it on our German background.
We also talked sex some, basically talk about it and make sure it stays good over the years. And push through the dry spell when you have kids.
As for him and mom, he said that he “knew she was the one he’d marry” so quickly because he was ready to settle down with a family and she fit the bill. Love came later, years later (five-ish). Not very romantic but I can relate to that. I can see MM in my future, and us with kids, so that’s a start for me. Talking to him makes me feel confident again in us dating.
I may be stoic but I was grinning when I got off the phone with him, realizing just how close we are. I’m looking forward to more conversations with him because it seems our worldviews and outlooks on life are very very close. Monogamy/”settling” is a good example of that.
